Cautiously Optipmistic

Oct. 5, 2006 I talked to the insurance company today. The woman who answered the phone sounded frail and confused. She tried to tell me that I had an approval letter mailed to me on August 31. I told her that my husband had received a letter but I hadn't. She said, "Oh, I guess that they have confused your cases. "

I think the old broad was on crack so I'm not putting too much hope into the fact that she said I had been approved and a letter was mailed on Oct. 3rd. After all I've been through with the insurance company, I remain slightly leary.

On the other hand, my insides are screaming a "hallelujah, it's about f-ing time!" It's amazing how much you invest emotionally in placing your future somewhere that you have no control over.

The surgery center is booking surgeries for November. I guess this means I have to stop eating everything in sight. I'm quite sure I have gained since I was in the surgeon's office in May. I gave myself permission to eat anything I wanted with little restraint. I figured it didn't matter either way. If I was going to have the surgery, I would be able to lose weight later. If I was denied the surgery, I was going to die anyway, so what was the difference?

The decision to have WLS was not taken lightly and once I made up my mind, I felt nothing could stop me. I have always claimed not to be depressed, but the waiting and thinking I could be denied, made me feel completely out of control. I think this anxiousness could be classified as a form of depression. I dunno. So, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to contain my excitement.