Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Shopping

Weight 305

I had to buy some new jeans yesterday. I would rather go to the dentist than go to the mall but that is what I was forced to do today.

I found my favorite jeans, (5 sizes smaller) a bra and new underwear (sexy ones!). All for $42. Bonus!!

When the clerk was ringing up my purchase, she tried to talk me into buying another pair of jeans. I politely told her that I don't want to buy more since I've been losing weight. She asked how and I told her that I had weight loss surgery. Her response was, "So you cheated then?" I was so mad but tried to compose myself. "I'd say what I did was anything but cheating. Do you have any idea of how hard this whole thing is? It's not some magic potion that does the work for you," I said sheepishly.

Her next comment was that Randy Jackson from American Idol had it done and now he's gained all of his weight back. I let her know that he has not gained back all of his weight, only some.

Why do people want to make others feel like crap? I guess it makes them feel less miserable about themselves.

While I was in another store, I caught a glimpse of someone staring at me. It took me a second to realize that I was looking into a mirror! I didn't even recognize myself for a minute. That was a weird moment.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Friday, January 26, 2007

3 Month Check Up

Weight 308

The checkups led to some good news and some bad. Let's get the bad out of the way first.

The dietician spanked me for eating soup. I eat soup for lunch every day since we eat out and I can get it in a 1 cup size. Weighloss surgery patients are not allowed to eat any liquid calories. The reason for this is that liquids will not stay in our small stomachs which leads to hunger quicker. The rule is that if you were to put a substance in a funnel and it goes through immediately, you should not eat (or drink) it. This also applies to my awesome protein shake I make myself for breakfast every day. She did say I could use less liquid to make it thicker. I'm so bummed because I'm finally getting all the protein I need in. She doesn't want me to have it for breakfast, but for a late snack instead. Her reasoning for this is that she wants whatever you eat for breakfast to stick with you longer. I'm going to continue with the shakes until I find I'm not losing weight.

Tim spoke with the exercise psysiotherapist first. He's all gung ho to continue with his gym training (he goes every day). This made me look like a bum since I'm doing some leg lifts and band training. The exercise guy was very cool about my plan. I was so embarrassed because my stomach decided to rebel right in the middle of our appointment. Luckily, there was a bathroom close by. I think it was nerves.

Bad news for Tim came in that he will probably have to have his gall bladder removed within the next 3 months. He was told to watch how he's feeling very closely.

Now for the good news! We have both lost a total of 76 pounds each. His BMI (body mass index) has decreased by 9% and mine by 12%. I have lost 10 inches in both my hips and belly.

The
really good news! My blood test results are back.

  • My cholesterol is 115 (less than 200 is normal)
  • HDL 26 (greater than 59 is normal [he didn't mention anything about this being too low so I don't know])
  • LDL 80 (less than 100 is normal)
  • triglycerides 45 (less than 150 is normal)
We were both shown a picture of ourselves from when we started this journey. I had a hard time looking at mine. It's a place I never want to go again. The physician's assistant remarked that we both had noticable physical changes. (I still don't see mine.)

To this day, I haven't regretted for a minute that I had weightloss surgery.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Milestones

Weight 309

So, today I have reached a couple of milestones:

  • I have lost 75 pounds, the most I've ever lost at one time.
  • I weigh less now than I have in over 10 years.
  • The jeans I am wearing are 5 sizes smaller.
  • My bra band size has gotten smaller while the cup size has remained the same.
    Mr. Sign convinced me to walk around the entire mall. We ended up going twice around. (I could barely make it from the parking lot to the door without breaking a sweat before.)
  • Sex is amazing when there is less of both of us.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

It's About Time

Weight 315

The scale finally moved this morning! I'm down 69 pounds. I just hope the ball keeps rolling.

I was able to make myself do leg lifts this morning. I'm quite proud of myself.

Tim got his Vena Cava filter removed yesterday. All went well. He's going back to work on Tuesday. (He's driving me mad with his being bored.)

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Argh!

Weight 317

I've tried everything to get the weightloss ball rolling again. I've upped my protein to about 80 grams and I've been getting almost all of the water in and still the scale won't move!

My lovely body (I'm trying to talk nice to it) will not give up this fight easily. I'm afraid my body may be done losing weight. That would totally suck!

Tim went for his 2 week post op check up yesterday. He's doing great. He's down 67 pounds since September. Dr. Kemmeter told me not to compare our weightlosses. It's hard not to.

I have been feeling pretty good about myself lately. I'm able to move around so much better than I could before.

I need to start focusing on the positives.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Food Addict?

Weight 317

Weightloss surgery has made forced me to look at my past eating habits. Most obese people will tell you that they eat food for comfort. They are emotional eaters. Food is the one and only friend that doesn't treat them poorly (at first, but then the pounds are packed on). The vicious cycle is that the more one eats, the worse they feel.

Given my somewhat turbulent childhood, one would think that I should fall into the above category. What I'm realizing is that I'm not an emotional eater. I never have been. I have never found that food eased my pain. In times of stress, I go into starvation mode.

I had a hard time convincing the weighloss center behaviorist that I was not an emotional eater. Instead of individualizing each patient, he was using stereotypes that I did not fall into.

The behaviorist wanted to know how someone could become morbidly obese without being an emotional eater. I explained that after giving birth to two children and taking care of two terminally ill in-laws, I had focused on everyone except myself. As a mother, I gave every ounce of myself to being the best I could be always putting the babies first. This meant that I didn't really put much thought into what I was putting into my body.

I had to take a look at genetics as well. I come from beefy stock on both sides. I found a picture of my great grandfather's sisters. I am built exacly like the herd.

Metabolism needs to be factored in as well. My best friend eats twice as much as I do and can't believe how little I actually eat (she has travelled with me for days being with me 24 hours a day watching what I eat).

I'm not saying that I don't like food, because obviously I do. I have found myself eating because I was bored and the food was there. I grabbed whatever was easy and close by. I have a bad habit of going all day without eating anything until 7 o'clock at night. At that point, you better get out of my way because I'm going to eat anything and everything. When you wait so long to eat, you just stuff the food in and have no idea of when your body is actually full until it's too late.

Weightloss surgery has given me the chance to make friends with my body. I'm learning to listen to it. I now eat slowly and savor every bite.

I was told that the disconnect from food would be hard after surgery. One woman told me that life after surgery was the hardest thing she had ever done. She feels cheated that she can't eat whatever she wants to. What I've found is that don't miss the terrible things I was putting into my body. I feel a sense of relief for not feeling guilt about what I choose to eat. I know I need to work hard now as the weightloss window is only about 18 months. In this time, I have to set good eating habits that will follow me for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Reheated Meat

Weight 320 (down 64 pounds)

I haven't mentioned it, but I have had several incidents with meat that was reheated in the microwave. It's happened with chicken, beef and ham. I made it, ate it and all went well when it was freshly cooked. When I try to eat it the next day, it makes me throw up within a half an hour. Weird.

I think I remember reading that others have had problems with food being reheated in the microwave. I haven't had the nerve to try and reheat meat in the oven or on the stovetop since the last incident (Christmas morning).

I wanted to put this problem here in case anyone else has had these troubles.

Monday, January 1, 2007

2 Months Post Op

Weight 321 (down 63 pounds)


I took some 2 month pictures a week late. I decided that because of water weight gain during the week I'm supposed to take pictures, I would take them a week later.

I can't believe how huge my belly still is. It seems much smaller to me than it looks in pictures.

I've gotten really bored with food and am having a hard time getting all the protein in. I'm trying not to cook too much since Tim is just 4 days post op and I know it bothered me.



Click to enlarge these (if you dare!).