One More Day

I've had a pretty emotional day. I've gone from tears to dancing within seconds all day. I'm sure part of the emotional aspect is due to it being my "special" (there's nothing special to me) time of the month coming up. Initially, after scheduling surgery, I was concerned that my period was supposed to start on my surgery day. I was afraid that they might cancel surgery. I posted this predicament here on OH and got lots of great advice. Also, when the pre-op nurse called, she let me know that everything would be just fine. She even giggled as she told me they would give me those lovely mesh panties that you get when you have a baby.

I've been trying to get all the last minute things into place and have been cleaning but can't seem to get anything as clean as I would like it to stay. I'm close to giving up.

It seems that everyone wants me for something. I got seven phone calls this morning (in 1/2 an hour) not pertaining to work, but to my daughter's school (I'm the PTA president). I finally just let them know that they are going to have to work things out without me for a while. Sheesh! I've given them 10 years of my life. Thank God, this is my last year there as my youngest daughter will be moving on to middle school.

I guess this will be my last post before surgery. My husband called the hospital and got me a private room. I need to remember to kiss him for that.

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone on the loser's side.

PA's Visit

The physician's assistant visit, with Randy, went well on Thursday. I was slightly miffed since the nurse who wrote down my weight the week before transposed the numbers. So instead of the 384.1 that I saw on the scale, she had written down 381.4. I had really lost 18 pounds not just 15. No big deal except that it was the biggest weight loss I've ever had in a week and they didn't document it correctly.

I'm so excited because Cheryl has offered to be my ANGEL!!!! What a sweetie. My husband will contact her after surgery. Luckily for me, she had her surgery through the same center that I am using. Thanks, Cheryl, for making my day!

I stayed after the PA visit to attend a support group on Thursday that 2 women were supposed to speak at. The didn't show but I was glad I stayed as I met so many nice people. I really learned a lot. Everyone is so supportive on this journey.

I am no longer nervous about surgery. I am super excited. I feel like I'm waiting to open a gift. I can't wait to see how this gift is going to fit.

The Scale

I can't wait for the day when my scale won't read ERROR. When I bought it last February, I could actually use it. That was before the tour of pre WLS gluttony began. You see, I've eaten everything and anything I could get my hands on without giving another thought about what I was doing to myself. I figured that since I was having surgery I would be able to take the weight off later.

What that extra 20 pounds (beyond the 180 I've been carrying around) did to me was make me miserable. Things that hadn't been a problem before became almost impossible. I couldn't carry anything up the stairs because I could hardly bear my own weight on my knees.

I'm a little embarrassed about the next thing but I'm going to put it out there anyway as a future reference to myself to remain on plan. You see, I wasn't able to be as clean in the bathroom as I once had been. Those extra 20 pounds kept me from "reaching" where I needed to. That was pretty hard to write and I hope I have not offended anyone.

20 extra pounds is also a lot to carry around in the bedroom. I haven't wanted to look at myself let alone allow my husband to see me. Not to mention, the effects of 2 super obese lovers trying to make each other happy. Again, not a pretty sight but left as a reminder to me to never go to this place again.

I'm off to my pre-op visit at MMPC with Randy. I'm staying late since there is a support group meeting there with the 2 girls who wrote, "The Real Skinny On Weight Loss Surgery". I loved their witty humor and would love to meet them in person.

I'll update when I get back.

My Brain Is Running On Air

I have completely lost my mind. I didn't think I was that nervous about my upcoming gastric bypass surgery next Wednesday, Oct. 25, but I must be. I can't focus at work. Everything I touched today turned to crap. I drove 15 miles with my gas cap off and the gas door open after filling up.

It's pretty amazing to me to actually be hungry. My stomach growls and flip flops. I've felt like I was starving this week. I've tried to eat every 2 hours and that has helped. It's also strange to not eat until I'm stuffed. That's a new feeling.

I'm confused that there's no bowel prep for this surgery. I mean, they are cutting into your intestines. The physician's assistant said that it was because the diet would take care of it. Well, one would think that if you are eating 90% liquid that you would not have to have a bowel movement. I'm here to attest that is not the case. I don't know and I'm rambling about crapping so I guess I need to stop.

I've been trying to get plans in order for next week and it seems that everyone wants to see me. I've told most that they can visit me while I'm off work.

I'm going for my last appointment tomorrow before surgery. I have no idea what they are going to do to me.

Nervous, Happy, Scared, Excited!

I called the WLS center yesterday to make sure they had the correct phone numbers since they hadn't called to schedule my surgery. The scheduler told me I was scheduled to be scheduled next week. I was pissed! I knew that if they waited that long, it would be after the new year before I could have the surgery.

So, I did what every woman without balls does. I hung up and called my husband and protecter. Mr. Sign called the WLS center to remind them that it was partially their fault that our surgeries had been so delayed. The office manager admitted neglegence and low and behold, I got a call 5 minutes later.

She only had one opening in November, the 25th, which didn't work for me. She said, "Well, I just had a cancellation for 2 weeks from tomorrow but you have to come to a class tomorrow or you can't have the surgery." I said, I'll figure out a way to be there!

Well, my little chickadees, my surgery is scheduled for October 25th! Two weeks from today. I will be attending a dietician and excercise class all day today. I begin the 800 calorie diet today.

October 9, 2006

I got my official approval letter for gastric bypass surgery!!!!! I feel giggly and excited like I'm about to open a Christmas present.

The next step is to schedule a surgery date and an appointment with a nutritionist. I'll be put on an 800 calorie diet. Bear with me because I'm sure I'll be a bitch during that two weeks.

Cautiously Optipmistic

Oct. 5, 2006 I talked to the insurance company today. The woman who answered the phone sounded frail and confused. She tried to tell me that I had an approval letter mailed to me on August 31. I told her that my husband had received a letter but I hadn't. She said, "Oh, I guess that they have confused your cases. "

I think the old broad was on crack so I'm not putting too much hope into the fact that she said I had been approved and a letter was mailed on Oct. 3rd. After all I've been through with the insurance company, I remain slightly leary.

On the other hand, my insides are screaming a "hallelujah, it's about f-ing time!" It's amazing how much you invest emotionally in placing your future somewhere that you have no control over.

The surgery center is booking surgeries for November. I guess this means I have to stop eating everything in sight. I'm quite sure I have gained since I was in the surgeon's office in May. I gave myself permission to eat anything I wanted with little restraint. I figured it didn't matter either way. If I was going to have the surgery, I would be able to lose weight later. If I was denied the surgery, I was going to die anyway, so what was the difference?

The decision to have WLS was not taken lightly and once I made up my mind, I felt nothing could stop me. I have always claimed not to be depressed, but the waiting and thinking I could be denied, made me feel completely out of control. I think this anxiousness could be classified as a form of depression. I dunno. So, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to contain my excitement.