Weight Loss Talk

Weight 284

A conversation over lunch with my stepdad, Ted, yesterday sparked some thoughts about losing weight. Obviously, I have no clue about what really works since I had to cut into my gut to make a change.

My mom and Ted have been on a diet for the last three weeks.

Ted has a metabolism like a hummingbird. He eats constantly to keep up with his intense physical movements. He's small but works out voraciously to keep himself at a constant weight. He has lost 10 pounds on their diet.

Unfortunately, I got my metablolism from my mom. My poor mother has only lost 3 pounds. I tried explaining to Ted that when someone follows a diet and doesn't see results, it seems like it's the end of the world. He insisted that someone on a diet needs only to think about the moment, not the rest of their life. I disagreed because when I'm on a diet, that's all I can focus on, what I'm depriving myself of.

I should explain that Ted is a recovering alcoholic (28 years of sobriety). He has always equated overcoming alcohol with being able to lose weight. He says that addictions are the same. I have tried to explain to him that it isn't the same. We have to eat in order to survive. Just trying to eat a little is like telling an alcoholic to have one drink.

Another major difference in trying to lose weight is that almost everything we do in life is based around food. All gatherings revolve around what's being served. Just walking up to someone's desk can be difficult if they have a huge jar of candy in your face.

What has changed for me since surgery is that I can no longer eat huge quanities of food, even if I wanted to. I have been forced to change my eating habits. If I don't, I must suffer the immediate consequence of throwing up. Even if my head tells me to eat more, I can't. Why couldn't I just eat smaller portions before surgery? Because my brain wouldn't let me. If food was there, I would eat it.

I'd love to say that I've overcome obsessing over food, but I'd be lying. What surgery has taught me is that I must now focus more on what I'm eating as well as how much. I have to get enough protein and water every day or I will suffer for the rest of my life. Being aware of every single morsel I put into my body for the rest of my life, is the only way I will overcome obesity.

Missing Food

Weight 300

A friend asked me yesterday if I miss certain foods. To be honest, I haven't really thought about the things I can't eat, like sugar. I'm so focused on finding something that will meet my protein needs that I hadn't given a thought to eating the junk I used to. Focusing on the positives has always been a goal for me.

At lunch yesterday, I had about a 1/2 an ounce of pulled pork from my friend's plate and I could only eat half of the cup of soup I had ordered. My friend was amazed at how little it took for me to get full.

The jeans (size 26) I bought not even two weeks ago look huge on me. When I tried them on they fit slightly tightly (that was fun to say). Now they bag in the legs and resemble clown pants. *sigh* Even though I haven't dropped that much weight lately, I can really notice inches lost.

I did lose 4 pounds since yesterday though!!!

Food Addict?

Weight 317

Weightloss surgery has made forced me to look at my past eating habits. Most obese people will tell you that they eat food for comfort. They are emotional eaters. Food is the one and only friend that doesn't treat them poorly (at first, but then the pounds are packed on). The vicious cycle is that the more one eats, the worse they feel.

Given my somewhat turbulent childhood, one would think that I should fall into the above category. What I'm realizing is that I'm not an emotional eater. I never have been. I have never found that food eased my pain. In times of stress, I go into starvation mode.

I had a hard time convincing the weighloss center behaviorist that I was not an emotional eater. Instead of individualizing each patient, he was using stereotypes that I did not fall into.

The behaviorist wanted to know how someone could become morbidly obese without being an emotional eater. I explained that after giving birth to two children and taking care of two terminally ill in-laws, I had focused on everyone except myself. As a mother, I gave every ounce of myself to being the best I could be always putting the babies first. This meant that I didn't really put much thought into what I was putting into my body.

I had to take a look at genetics as well. I come from beefy stock on both sides. I found a picture of my great grandfather's sisters. I am built exacly like the herd.

Metabolism needs to be factored in as well. My best friend eats twice as much as I do and can't believe how little I actually eat (she has travelled with me for days being with me 24 hours a day watching what I eat).

I'm not saying that I don't like food, because obviously I do. I have found myself eating because I was bored and the food was there. I grabbed whatever was easy and close by. I have a bad habit of going all day without eating anything until 7 o'clock at night. At that point, you better get out of my way because I'm going to eat anything and everything. When you wait so long to eat, you just stuff the food in and have no idea of when your body is actually full until it's too late.

Weightloss surgery has given me the chance to make friends with my body. I'm learning to listen to it. I now eat slowly and savor every bite.

I was told that the disconnect from food would be hard after surgery. One woman told me that life after surgery was the hardest thing she had ever done. She feels cheated that she can't eat whatever she wants to. What I've found is that don't miss the terrible things I was putting into my body. I feel a sense of relief for not feeling guilt about what I choose to eat. I know I need to work hard now as the weightloss window is only about 18 months. In this time, I have to set good eating habits that will follow me for the rest of my life.